The Bramhin eagerness

The Brahmana's Eagerness Once there lived a brahmana, who felt his time was up. But before dying he wanted to see Lord Badrinatha up in the Himalayas thus he left his village to go north. The journey up the mountains was strenuous and it took up all his remaining strength. The main question was: Would he be able to reach Badrinath in time? For half a year the temple was closed. From the end of September all throughout March when snow covered the high mountains the priest would lock up the doors and go down to the valley to wait there for the snow to melt. The brahmana gave it his best. Many pilgrims, who passed him advised the old man to make haste as soon the temple would be closes. In great anxiety he pressed on. He was very fragile and the paths were bad, travelling was extremely difficult and his body was so old. When he finally arrived he was practically crawling up the steps of the temple on all fours. From the steps of the temple he heard the sounds of bells and the familiar aratika song; but on the last step, the sounds stopped and the priest was standing with a heavy key before him, ready to close the gate. "Oh no" - groaned the old brahmana - "Just wait for a few more minutes till I have offered my homage to the Lord." But the priest was intent on locking the doors. "God does not have to wait for us, we have to wait for him. He is not our servant. Come back in half a year." "You don't understand" - cried the brahmana. Then he grabbed the feet of the priest and pleaded: "I am too old. I will die in a month or so. I have heard, the Lord is bhaktavatsala, a friend to his devotees, and the devotees are like wish-fulfilling trees ready to fulfill the desires of all?! " "No way!" - answered the priest. "I am already late. Let me bei" and then he kicked away the hands of the brahmana to free himself.The brahmana cried bitterly. But when no one heeded him and his voice fell on deaf ears he fainted and rolled down the temple steps. When he awoke, he was alone. Only the stars looked down on him. No human being was in sight. The old man was desperate. He felt his life had been in vain. With great determination he got up and exclaimed: "Now, where my Lord and His devotees have ignored me, my only shelter is Mother Ganga." Calling out loud : "Narayana, Narayana!" he stumbled towards the wild waters of the river Ganga to end his life there and then. When he had almost reached, he was stopped by a voice: "Hey old man! What do you think you are doing?" Upon turning around he saw a young man from the village galloping on a horse towards him: "Don't you know that suicide is sinful? It never brings us to the Lord." Finally he took the old man's hands into his. What a touch - both, delightful and firm. The brahmana told him his story: About how he had left his village in the hope of seeing the Lord, how he had overcome all kinds of obstacles, tolerating many hardships, and how, when he was just minutes away from his goal, the priest had kicked him down the temple stairs. The young man simply smiled. With a wave of his hand he said: "You are old and have become hard of hearing. The temple is open for you tomorrow. I am from here. Stay with me in a warm cave for the night and tomorrow I will take you personally for a darshan." The old man could not believe his ears. The young man led him into a warm cave nearby with a dancing fire and chessboard: "Let's spend the evening playing chess - then the time will go by faster", he suggested. And although the old brahmana had no idea about board games, he could not resist the attractive villager and much to his surprise, he always won the game. Finally they went to sleep. Early the next morning the young villager woke the brahmana up and after they had taken their bath in Brahmakunda, he led him up the stairs. At the top, they found the surprised priest. "Oh good! you are back old man. I was quite worried that you would not be alive" - the priest remarked. "Come right in." "Anyway it was only for a night", answered the brahmana. "No, it has been for 6 months! After I closed the temple door half a year ago, I went down to the valley. Today I am re-opening the temple again. You will be amongst the first pilgrims, who will see the first aratika ceremony of Lord Narayana." The brahmana was shocked, as a sweet realization dawned upon him. Quickly he turned around to look for the young man. When he could not see him next to him he shouted: "Young man, where are you?" The priest was surprised. At that moment the conch shells resounded, the bells started ringing and everyone rushed into the temple to participate in the first aratika ceremony. The brahmana stumbled inside and as he looked onto the altar he saw for a few moments, how the detiy had turned into the youth who played chess. Totally ecstatic, the brahmana came to understand that it was the Lord Himself who had saved him from taking his life. He had taken him into a warm cave and had kept him alive for 180 days and nights. When his eagerness had reached the highest point and he had longed with all his heart and soul to be with the Lord, the Lord had personally arranged to facilitate the union. As the other pilgrims looked on, he went out of the temple and laid down on the topmost step. Calling out: "Narayana! Have mercy on me!"- he closed his eyes and was immediately taken back to Godhead! Once a god-brother asked Srila Prabhupada: "How do we attain Krishna?" His answer was immediate: "By your anxiety." My god-brother was amazed: "Was anxiety not something material and had to be given up?" Srila Prabhupada clarified: "Not that anxiety! Material anxiety is a product of false ego. Be anxious for Krishna, not yourself. Be so eager to attain him that all other anxieties fall away!"